10:11am: Sitting in Biology class, half listening – half sleeping through the teachers lecture on some kind of chemical bonds, nobody seems to be paying any attention. Half of the class has already dozed off, some are furiously typing away on their cell phones, Stacy is busy checking her hair for split ends (typical), occasionally you hear that huge “smack” from the back of the room,
“Andrew, this is my FINAL warning…throw your gum away, or get out of my
classroom...where was I? Energy is stored within the structure of molecule
bonds and….”
Sigh.
I’m sitting by the window, watching the heavy rain beat against the glass. It was one of those moments when I wished I was
anywhere but here.
As the door suddenly opens, all heads turn.
None of us have seen him before.
His shoes were torn, his hair was a wet, tattered mess, his loose Red Sox jacket was ripped on the sleeve and a red cap was on his head. From head to toe, he looked like a mess. In one hand he held a crimpled piece of paper and in the other, a skimpy brown paper bag.
“This is room 207, right? I’m James Moon. Sorry I’m late. This is my new science class?” he said.
“Sure is, kiddo. Class, welcome our new student. James take your seat in the back, your next tardy will be a lunch detention – I don’t like being interrupted. Moving on, heat is most common recognized as…”
Except none of us cared about the effects of heat, all eyes were on James. The air was filled with an ocean of flash judgments: What’s with the shoes? Where is he from? Why does he LOOK like that? As he made his way to the back of the room, I couldn’t help but notice all the glares, snickers, and whispers suddenly filling the atmosphere. The air became so tense I could hardly breathe.
- Under a few seconds, he had already become the next class target. The sad part is, none of us knew
anything about him –
James sat down.
He seemed to be completely ignorant of the stares. Instead, his eyes sparked with a warm shimmer of excitement, his smile seemed almost a bit too…friendly.
Automatically I’m thinking, “What’s with this kid? Here we are, staring him down from head to toe, not even giving him a chance before deciding his “name tag” – looser, outcast…
worthless.
Why are we so fast to judge?
Here is someone…with a past, with hopes and dreams, talents and achievements. Yes, he’s probably made mistakes, he has regrets, he’s failed….
But haven’t we all?
What gives us the right to decide who someone is, what their like, what their permanent image is in our minds…even before we get the chance to talk to them, to figure them out, to befriend them.
This reminds me of the story when Jesus was rejected by the people of his hometown. During his life, he did nothing but serve people and bring the gospel to all who wanted to hear it. He healed the sick, gave hope to the hopeless, life to the lifeless, he put all of his time and effort to make the world a better place; teach people how to love one another, how to respect, listen, how to live. All of this was available to anyone who wanted healing; who wanted a new faith, a new life – all of this was given to them without cost. Yet still, they rejected him. They mocked and beat him…for what? Being the savior of the world?
For the next couple weeks, James showed up to school…wearing the exact same thing as the day before. Every day, he would get picked on, he would be stared at, he would sit alone at lunch, sit alone in class….everyday, completely and utterly…alone.
But not once did I see him sad or even bothered by the laughs and comments. Not once did I see him returning those mean looks. He was always kind, always respectful, always smiling.
One day my teacher assigned a project that ended up changing my life.
The project was to pair up with someone else and come up with a project showing examples of science in our everyday lives.
“Stacy you will be with Mark, Marty you’re with Blake, Karina, let’s see
here…you’re with James.”
After a round of sympathy glances, James came over to where I was sitting…
“Hey, this is going to be great! You know, I already have a ton of ideas.
I’m thinking maybe we could do something relating to….”
Day by day, I began to see another side of him. He wasn’t just that kid in the back seat who everyone made fun of. He was an artist, a writer; apparently also into rock climbing. He loved the outdoors, cooking and inventing. He was a dreamer, a brother, a son…and a really unique individual overall. Getting to know him, I realized that yes, he was a teenager with everyday struggles and achievements – just like the rest of us. But, there was something special about him.
One day I decided to ask him.
“James?” I asked.
“Yes?”
“Why are you so….happy all the time? How come the way people treat you
doesn’t seem to bother you? Why is that, every day, you come to school with a smile?
He looked a bit surprised at first, but after a second his eyes became narrow, and he got this faraway look in his eyes. He replied:
“My mother died about a year ago” he said.
“Wow, I’m so sor-“
“No, stop -“ he interrupted,
“You know, for a long time after she passed away, I was angry; angry at my family, my friends, at the world, most importantly with…God for taking her away. I just didn’t understand why he had to take her. Before long, I started being furious with myself; thinking that it was somehow my fault she wasn’t here anymore. I started hating my life, everything and everyone around me: I was mad that I didn’t have a mom, that we were poor, that our house was tiny and old, why I couldn’t have a fairy-tale kind of life….just about everything in my life was black, broken, and bruised. Man, it was just the worst time of my life. One afternoon, I was walking home and it started pouring like crazy. I still can’t figure out what came over me that day, but I started running, screaming like crazy – of course, the rain was so loud, I doubt anyone heard me – but I let it all out that day.”
I was speechless.
“So, you let it all out, and just like that, you forgot everything and turned around? Is that even possible to do?” I said.
He grinned and let out a short laugh.
“You still don’t understand, do you? Karina, it’s a process. Believe me; it took a long,long time to heal everything that had been broken. Even now, the pain is still there. But, you want to know what I learned? It wasn’t anybody’s fault that my mom passed away. She had Parathyroid cancer. At first, they thought it was curable, after time it started to get worse. She died at the hospital. One reason I became so rebellious is that after all my years of believing in God, I couldn’t understand why he would let something like that happen. I felt like I was being punished for something I did.”
He stopped for a second, and looked at me straight in the eyes;
“God does not want bad things to happen in life. Instead, bad things happen in the freedom that comes with the gift of life. We are free people, not puppets on a string. Things just happen. People pass away, get sick, hit by a car…mothers lose their children – sometimes even in birth, and boys lose their mothers…that’s just how it works. I’ve learned that through all the suffering and pain, God suffers with us. He is just as hurt and wounded as we are. Any "bad" thing which happens is never the last word. Rather, God is the deepest and last word, and that word is love and eternal life with God. All throughout this period, I know God has been there with me: helping to heal my pain, helping me collect the pieces broken by experience – helping me become whole again - whole as I was intended and created to be from the beginning by this loving God. I know even though it was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, it helped me get closer with my heavenly father. Most importantly, it helped me learn to place my trust in Him by faith and not rely on materialistic things”
It was quiet for a moment before he finally added,
“You know, it’s always the bigger things in life that seem to choose you. You can say what you want, believe what you will believe…but I’ll take what I want. And that is a life where I’m happy. A life where even through the hardships I can find God’s hand leading me through it, where I just don’t care what people think or say about me, where I can go outside and see God in anything I look at; the flowers, the wind rustling the leaves in the tree, the sound of the ocean, my dad’s laughter, anything! I never want to look back to the things that I had, or the ones that I’ll never need…those things just don’t matter. I can close my eyes and listen; until I can remember; her laughter, the way her eyes sparkled whenever I succeeded, the way her arms were always open when I needed a hug…she’s still here. I can feel it. She might not be exactly alive physically, but I have memories…and that’s definitely enough to keep her spirit alive.”
The sound of the bell startled me and I realized I had started crying like crazy. My mascara was smudged under my eyes, but I didn’t care. Before I was able to say anything, James was already heading out the door.
That night, a wave of guilt passed through my heart. How could I have been so selfish… so stupid? Here I am, blessed to have a home, food on the table, a family that loves me more than I can express, and a heavenly Father that is forever watching over me with love and affection…and still, I constantly complain. Sometimes, even over the smallest things. James, who’s been through so much pain and experienced an overwhelming loss, still manages to come to school with a positive attitude…never complaining about anything. Thinking about it made me cry all over again.
The truth is, we all are guilty, aren't we? In the first three chapters of Romans you will find that everyone is guilty because everyone has sinned and come short of the glory of God. There is no one righteous, no one who seeks God, no one who does good. We have all violated God's law. We are the rebels and enemies of God. We are the guilty ones, no matter who we are. We are the ones who ought to be rejected. But the great surprise is that in our place and in our behalf God rejected another--his own Son, who was both - a perfect God and a perfect man. That was his eternal plan of salvation.
The next day, my spirits were lifted. I couldn’t wait until science to see James! I had so much to tell him, and even more to ask.
As 3rd period rolled around, I couldn’t help but notice, the seat in the back of the room was empty.
“Where is he? Ok, maybe he’s just late…I’m sure it’s nothing serious” – I thought to myself.
After 20 minutes, still no sign of him. While the rest of the class paired up to work on their projects, I sat alone…looking outside the window once more…wondering where he could be.
The door suddenly opened, and the principal walked in. The room became silent as she headed towards the middle of the room. When she turned around, all of us could see that something terrible had happened. she starts to talk but my world collapses as I hear bits and pieces fall to the floor.
“Class there's been....accident....classmate....James was in the....they called an ambulance...not enough time...."
Silence.
……………………………………………………………………………
From that moment on – the room went black. I didn’t hear anyone or anything but my own heartbeat and a voice inside me refusing to believe the truth. – She's Lying. There's no way! He's not really dead, what do they know?! What about our project? What about all the things I need to tell him? –
No matter how much I told myself, I eventually had to face the truth. He was gone.
- And I never even got to say thank you. –
I’m sure the whole class felt guilty that day, just like I did. We didn’t accept him for who he was, and now he was gone.
Jesus knew he would be abused, and rejected - but he was the perfect, sinless, God-become-man. He was God, the Messiah, and the King. He was the Prophet, the Savior, the Creator, and the Redeemer. He was the unique Son of God. He "made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant…being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death, even the death of the cross" (Phil. 2:7, 8)
Jesus had given up everything in order to save us – in order to save you! In this case, we are the losers, outcasts…we are
worthless. But still, he died for us – taking up all our sin shame with him so that we could be forever free in him.
I don’t think we realized that his presence made a huge impact in our classroom…I’m sure his smile had made someone’s day, his lasting optimistic attitude had maybe lifted someone’s spirit, and as for me…
He had changed my life.
Next stop: Kansas City! I'm so excited to head on the airplane Wednesday morning and jump from Washingtons high 60's to Kansas high 90's! :D I hope everyone has an amazing last day of school...and i'll keep you posted on some of my summer adventures! :D Be blessed!!
